I can look in the mirror six times in a day and see something different each time. When you look into your own eyes, you are forced to confront your own emotions, thoughts, and insecurities. And while I have grown to embrace and even love my own reflection, the majority of the time, I was afraid to get to know myself, to really SEE what I might discover. So, loving what I see and who I see took a lot of work and a lot of practice
Sometimes when we see ourselves in the mirror we can see anger, resentment, frustration, small-mindedness, vanity, hatred, jealousy, fear, weakness and all sorts of negative emotions. This are all emotions that can be very distressing and that are easier to avoid or ignore. But why are we so familiar with those emotions then? How do we all know how they feel? They are not shameful and we are definitely not the only ones to feel jealousy, rage, or arrogance so no, you are not wicked for feeling this or that way, they are not dreadful, they are just human and we cannot control how we feel. Emotions are things that happen. They don't say anything about who you are, how you work or what you deserve. They are part of our own personal experience in life and the specific circumstances we go through, so judging yourself for having those feelings, is the biggest barrier to see yourself for who you really are. Because it's not about what we feel, it's about what we do with those emotions, it's about that deeper understanding of who we can be and how we can behave when those particular emotions arise. They don't define you.
When we allow ourselves to feel those "negative" emotions we create space for healing, empathy and understanding of ourselves and others who might be feeling the same way. But what truly matters is what we do with what we feel. Are you using this emotions to find a deeper understanding of who you are? What if you tried choosing curiosity and self-exploration as an opportunity to learn, to grow, to reinvent yourself?
We display our behaviour without actually realising, trying not to look at it, but it is showing anyway, so ignoring your emotions is not the answer. Look yourself in the eyes. With practice and over time you will overcome the fear of truly looking and accepting what you feel. See the anger, see the love, see the jealousy for what is, just a momentary emotion in a particular point of your life. Start asking yourself: How do I help myself overcome this feelings? How can I deal with these emotions? Take simple but consistent actions that are more aligned with who you want to be.
Leave space to realise what's the most representative emotion present and to discover the positive emotions too. All the love, the kindness, the patience, the compassion, the things we usually miss because we're so afraid of what we are going to find on the negative side.
One tip I can give is, treat yourself as if you were looking at a friend in the eyes and be honest, vulnerable, supportive and kind. You deserve to be treated the same way